Search Results for: blog turning down a referral

Adoption Blog Month in Review, April 2007: Part One

I’d like to start this April Month-in-Review with a word about March. Most of you know that my co-blogger Ed Paul left. However he was a prolific writer here so there are many blogs in our archives to enjoy—check some out! When Ed left, Rachel Whitmire (who wrote for the adoption blog before either Ed or I did) was ready to come back from her leave of absence–during which she picked up her toddler son Jayden from Guatemala! She has about ten blogs in the adoption blog in late March describing aspects of her journey and new motherhood. Check them … Continue reading →

Turning Down a Referral

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I’d somehow always thought I’d adopt a child with a physical special need. My husband and I were open to correctable medical conditions. On the photolistings most agencies maintain, we saw the profile of a little girl with congenital cataracts and a cleft palate. I’d seen her pictures before, then she disappeared from the case studies for a while and I assumed she’d been adopted. When she reappeared after our homestudy was complete, it seemed like a sign. The cleft palate was treatable. She would likely see with coke-bottle thick glasses until she was a teenager when she would have … Continue reading →

My Very Own Secret Thoughts

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I’ve recently reviewed Jana Wolff’s memoir, Secret Thoughts of An Adoptive Mother. I’ve also shared my own impressions and experiences regarding the issues she raises in two of my blogs: here and here . But I promised myself that rather than just react to Wolff’s experiences and feelings and comment on how mine were the same or different, I would take the time to recall and bring into the sunlight other thoughts I did have during the process of deciding when, how, from where and who to adopt—and through the process of actually doing it. Assumptions and feelings just below … Continue reading →

Adoption Considerations when you Already Have Children: Safety

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When you already have children, your adoption decisions will have to take them into account as well. In my last blog I mentioned the effect that spacing of children and adopting out of birth order can have on your family. This blog continues the discussion of things to think about when planning for second or subsequent children. When you consider age and special needs of the child you can adopt, and when you consider the referral of a specific child, you must consider your responsibility to the children you already have. First, you must consider safety. A child who has … Continue reading →

Is it Okay to be Choosy? Part Two

My last blog introduced the topic of balancing wanting to adopt a child who really needs you with wanting to adopt a healthy child or a child who can do things you’ve always dreamed of doing with him or her. Adoption should be a mutually beneficial arrangement. In some cases, material assistance to the birthmother or an international child sponsorship agreement may be a better option. In other cases, a stable home life will not be possible with the birth family even with assistance. Adoption should mutually benefit the adoptive parents and child by allowing the parents to have joy … Continue reading →

The One Thing I Said I’d Never Do

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When we were considering what special needs we might be able to handle in an adopted child, my husband and I had some very interesting discussions. There was one thing about which there was no discussion at all. We would not adopt a child who had been prenatally exposed to alcohol. I had grown up next to a group home for the mentally retarded. The people with Down’s syndrome and many other problems were lovely neighbors. A girl my age with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome gave me the creeps. (To be fair, this was probably because of past abuse and not … Continue reading →

Classy Coordinates Sketches Subscription

It doesn’t matter if you have just started scrapbooking or if you have been scrapbooking for years, looking at sketches can be a wonderful way to get a start on a layout. If you are not familiar with scrapbook sketches, they are drawing that show where you should places your photos, journaling and embellishments. When I started scrapbooking, I didn’t know about sketches. I think that they just we not a popular concept. Now there are books full of sketches and sites online full of ideas. I just came across a site that offers a monthly subscription for sketches at … Continue reading →